LOVE AND MARRIAGE: OH WHAT A FEELING!

This was a busy weekend. Two weddings, SMU Family Weekend and a Black Daisy soccer game.  Friday I was lucky enough to see two amazing people who are a part of my FCD family unite as one. It was a vintage wedding in a small little historic part of McKinney called Chestnut Square. The bride and groom seemed destined to be together and looked oh so happy all throughout the early evening ceremony. The sun was setting as they said their vows and the back lights and candles lit the chapel. The colors of the wedding added to the vintage feel... khaki or burlap and a light blue color. There were guys and gals on both sides of the wedding party and each female in the wedding party was given the option to choose they style of dress that they would wear for the event.  The pastor who married them started of in the way of the movie the Princess Bride per the brides instructions, lol.  It was a great moment as people looked around and laughed a bit and I think took a little pressure off of the bride and groom who was noticeably nervous. A small quaint church with a definitely old time feel. It was a cute nervous though. She looked STUNNING and the entire bridal party looked amazing. Chelsea and Joseph truly made the wedding their own. The smallest details were taken care of right up until we had glow sticks to make an arch/tunnel for them to go through as they were headed out to their honeymoon in Canada. 1There was an amazing popcorn bar (which I was glad to indulge) with 5 types of popcorn including some BLUE POPCORN. There was a picture frame that you stopped at to take pictures with or without props and that would be shared with the bride and groom. Their DJ seemed to be a family friend and on his own accord made it a family affair with his father being at the event as well. He was great and played the sweetest music that added to the feeling of love in the atmosphere.  THe pergola and patio that housed the outside portion of the wedding had old style banners with things like wedding and love. There was a gentle breeze and the candles and hydrangeas scattered about the reception are in conjunction with the many black and white pictures of the couple really set off and continued the vintage feel.  It was a good, no great night. Congratulations to the Solano's may God bless your union and your lives together.


SMU Family Weekend was upon us as well... the next day we woke up to a 20 - 30 degree difference in temperature. Of course it would be an early game since the temperature and environment had drastically changed.  The boulevard seemed to be packed and there were many.many moms and dads there to celebrate their college ages kiddos and enjoy the home that they have sent them to make here in Dallas.  You might have thought there would be a let down of sorts due to the weather but NO. The weather seemed to keep people huddled closely together on the Boulevard and at the various activity locations.  As usual though, there were not too many people at the football game which turned out to be  one for the ages. It was unfortunately a 3OT loss by SMU to Rutgers. The first American Athletic Conference game for the Mustangs and the first loss. I want to have hope for the future but right now it doesn't look so bright. The team can't seem to put a whole game together. We make too many mistakes to come out on the winning side very often.  I will continue to go and continue to cheer for the Red, White and Blue because I am a Mustang for life. I'm a former athlete and athletic trainer. I remember what it was like to be at the games and have no one there but your parents or a few hundred people maybe a thousand or more (not much more). PONYUP people. This group of young people is headed into battle on the various courts and fields to represent you as an alumnus and the school on the national scale.  Come out and support the athletes and bring back some excitement to the Hilltop.

And now we come to the last day of the weekend... SUNDAY FUN DAY!! It was a much tamer day than I thought it would be. Soccer game was cancelled due to the deluge of rain that we got Saturday afternoon and night. Bad news because I wanted to play, but great news because it allowed me to relax until it was time to get dressed. I'm at a weird place body wise so I was struggling all weekend to figure out what I was comfortable wearing. I've been working out and lifting but my activity level is up and down ( I have bad days and good days ) so I'm not losing weight. I am however becoming a bit more solid and toned in certain areas. Again, yaaaaay but boo at the same time. Anywho, I went with the original thought process and wore the striped dress that I had orginially chosen for the event. Cicely arrived and we headed up to The Tribute Golf Club for the #LewisPartyof2 wedding.  Rachael and Derek are also an amazing couple who have known each other for a long time and been together  for a long time. They are a young couple who are getting ready to conquer the world together. She had a rather large house party but handled all of the fun of that very well. I remember watching/listening to her at work as she got to planning and getting the details in order. She pulled off what i hope was the wedding of her dreams and I know that she will be super duper happy when she gets back from the well deserved Honeymoon. The whole ATI crew was there to sit together, laugh together and drink together. We laughed, we giggled, David and Mia danced for us and the rest of us tested the food and drink to make sure all was well there (just a note: it was well, lol. The food was great!).  The bride looked awesome and the groom looked relaxed and ready to take on the world with his new wife by his side. Their photographers were amazing, as evident by the sunset kissing pictures on the golf course sent by the bride the next morning on her way to the 5:45 AM start of her honeymoon. Congrats to the Lewis' on their union and may they live a long and happy life together!!!


Coming soon... discussion on my sleeping issues that are continuing to be a problem AND on my ability to keep my sanity in the face of continued unemployment.

I hope you have enjoyed reading the greatness that was the weekend

Looking back to reflect and move forward.

 This is from earlier this spring...

"And now to move on to my single girls rant... 

Still looking for Mr. Right... he is not here as far as I can tell. Sometimes I feel like I must be asking for a nobel peace prize winner or something. I don't need the knight in shining armor or the rich man. I need someone who can/will take care of me in times of need and cheer me up when I am sad.. Someone who understands that I am a strong woman who is extremely opinionated and knows when to put me in my place. I need a friend, a partner...someone who will make me laugh and will travel the world with me. I'm looking for someone who is not afraid to love me for me. The crazy, emotional and family oriented person that I am.   Love me or let me go mister... let me be with someone who wants to be with me. I deserve it and I want it sooner rather than later. God has a plan and I am working on my patience, but I do believe he has a plan. "

This is still important to me. 

For whatever reason, people seem  to think that good ol' Houston is Mr. Right. I can't say whether he is or isn't but I can say that we are on a friendship page and that is that. 



Another quote from earlier this year and my blog:
"Now more than ever do I realize that I will never be content with a sedentary life, that I will always be haunted by thoughts of a sun-drenched elsewhere.” 
― Isabelle Eberhardt"


Trying not to force a blog post... before last night/this morning it had been a while since you heard from me. I am in a strange place again in life and yes it has been a bit crazy (slight understatement). I'm taking ownership of the craziness though and am working REALLY hard to get past it and live life.

Life is always going to throw you curveballs and it's a matter of figuring out how to hit them.  I have made a number of mistakes in my life but I have learned something from every path that I have taken. I may be on my own right now, but I know that I am living my life for me. This past week... okay 2 months since I left ATI has been a great period of self preservation. I have laughed and had a great time... thanks to the Mermaids of Alcatraz Tour , softball and the nights  out and weddings that I have attended.



Baby momma drama and family fun have always played a great part in my life since 2003 when the twins were on their way. NO MORE... I have finally been able to take a step away and be a bit selfish and get mom over to that side of thinking.


I put in a few more applications today. Don't want to say where since these days they all seem to fall through. I am qualified and hope that it will work out. There IS one job that just came open that I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have, but who knows anymore.

Get in line…the unemployment line.

It sucks to not have a job.  You didn’t really need me to tell you that though did you? I have a part time job but it is event based (we only have 2 more events left for the year). I know some people are perfectly fine being unemployed, but I AM NOT one of those people. Today marks the 2 month anniversary of my last day @ATI. I know that it is and was in my best interest to leave the company for medical reasons but I am still sad that I don’t get to work with some of the amazing people that ATI is lucky enough to snag.  I don’t miss what I was doing so much as the people I was doing it with. I know the misconception is out there that I couldn’t handle the pressure and the stress but that could not be further from the truth. I have had many, many opportunities that have presented themselves in the form of stress and challenges. For someone to start a  rumor or make assumptions sucks but I know the truth and that is going to have to be enough for me.

I know that I am capable of getting a job in the non-profit field, I just need someone to give me another shot. My first few interviews were honestly not my best. You get out of practice being interviewed rather than doing the interviewing so it doesn’t always come out great right away. I have all the faith and confidence in the world that GOD has me where he wants me to be right now and when he is ready, he’ll show me the way. 

APPLICATIONS GALORE!
I apply for 3 or more jobs per day and some then cross my fingers to hope that I get a call or an email from the hiring manager about those opportunities. I have been told that I am over qualified which is annoying in itself because I wouldn't have applied for the position if I didn't want it. In this economy, don't judge all of my past experience and then hold it against me!! I am a people person and I WILL succeed sooner rather than later.

JOB FAIRS & COLLEGE FAIRS OH MY!
There are a few job fairs and open houses that i would like to attend. Some here in Dallas, some in Houston, Austin and San Antonio. Would i move to any of those cities if I got a job? Depends on the opportunity and what the position has to offer.  As close as my mother and I are, I also get asked "Would your mom move to another city if you did?". I have no idea what the answer to that question would be. I think we cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now, I'm here and she's here, nothing else matters.

Who knows what will happen in my immediate future.

BEST FRIEND FUN
My bestie is getting married...again. We are or at least I have been calling it Wedding 2.0.  I am glad to be there for her in whatever capacity that she would like. It looks like I get the laid back pleasure of coming as a guest with no responsibilities and no stress. I think there will be a few drinks in Bavaria 2014. I love this girl like she is my own flesh and blood.  I hate that she was worried about how I would react to her wanting me to be able to relax and focus on me.  She wants me to be able to focus on finding the love of my life or at least "that one great love" and not worry about her ceremony. It'll happen when it is supposed to. Again, working on letting God do his job and not trying to force anything. Stay tuned for future man chat!!

Faith - Hope - Love

Ashley 

Absence does not make the heart grow fonder ....

This week has been a rough one all around. Reasons below...

Have you heard of Absence Seizures also known as Petit Mal Seizures?

Job searching = sucks

People you love having health issues = sucks

Needing money but having no job? = sucks

Now I can't find my freakin' passport and think I might know where it is but that bag is missing. = sucks

Looking at going to take some classes in Barcelona, Spain = interesting

Knowing i need my passport and can't find it? = sucks


What a week... today has not been a great day. I think I have done a great job mentally but it's starting to show cracks... my positive mood.

What i do know is that I am not in a place with unnecessary stress and no support and that's a GREAT thing.

Until the next time I write... hope all is well with everyone out in wherever you are.

Ciao, Adios, C-ya!

-Ashley

I am meant to be on a beach somewhere...

Today has been a great day and an emotional one. I started out relaxing at home doing my usual job search application submission and then went to the lake for a walk. That 3 miles is so freeing and enjoyable (Especially today with the breeze!) I am going to start doing it daily. My health will improve I'm positive and my legs will learn to love it. Soon it will go from a walk to a jog for part of the way and then hopefully a full 3 mile run.  I'm going to embrace this life change and hope to find something along the lines of what I love to pursue as a job in the near future. If that is meant to be then it will be, if not I will work part time and make it work however I can OR try to go work abroad doing some sort of volunteer mission pursuing my passion.

# of jobs applied to thus far: 10 

# of interviews: 5 

Not so bad right!?!? Keeping my head up and my shoulders back (that's for you mom!) and looking that next great thing!! 

2 years in the making

Can we say loooooooooooooong summer?!!  Say it with me people... long summer.
I find myself in a seemingly familiar position looking for a job. As a result of the crazy perfect storm of a summer that i have had, I have a few things on my list to get done:

1. find a new job
2. get healthy...AGAIN
3. get my car fixed
4. BE HAPPY

Here's the quick run down of why I'm in that top 4 as we speak...
Got a new puppy named Patch and he died 8 days after we got him from distemper... here's a pic.

He was such a sweet little baby... his body just could not hold on any longer so we set him free. He left an indelible mark on our family and it was honest to God a truly hard summer to cope with that.
My mom ended up having to have her hip replaced which sucked... here's another pic...

Got in in a car wreck the next day ... not really a wreck but more of a FENDER BENDER... it's taken a bit for me to get that fixed... in fact, it's still not fixed. That is on my agenda for this fine week in August to get an estimate from somewhere soon.  THEN work got crazy and my life got a bit more hectic and shall I say MORE EXPENSIVE... I ended up having as close to a stroke as you can get without having a stroke and being hospitalized int he middle of my event in Denver. Didn't get to see anything or see anyone besides my hotel room and my coordinator. Then I spent the entire time in the hospital by myself.   Here's a pic from the hospital that I honestly don't even remember taking...

This was my view from the hospital room though... too bad I think I slept most of the time...

After this incident. my attending and my general physicial both said I needed to find another job... that leaves me where i am currently... playing hide and seek with employers to get back to where I love to be.  So again, I say it has been a LOOOOOOOOOOONG SUMMER.  I will be glad to see this summer gone except for hte fact that it really pointed me back to my passion and what is important to me... WORKING WITH KIDS AND GIVING BACK TO THE COMMUNITY. It is truly important to me that i have an impact on someones life that matters each and every day. 

On a brighter note, I got to see my crazy Brit Joely today that's where the 2 years in the making comes from. It was a BRENDA SPARKLES day to driver her around and have a bit of fun. She's still crazy as every but a lot of fun to boot.  We hung out and just had an all around catch up sesh. I really neeed to prep to head to Australia... one to visit my Aussie friends...two, I want to cross that visit off of my bucket list. 

Anywho, another  night having trouble or should i just say NOT sleeping. It's my fault I didn't take me sleeping pill but I thought I was tired enough so I need not take it. I was sadly mistaken as I realize now at almost 5am. 

On to another day and remember to enjoy each and every moment. 

-ash

Random thoughts....

It's been a long couple of weeks.

Death in the family.
Airport Sleepover.
Softball Game.
Realizations - on oh so many things.
              sports and playing
               men ... where the hell are they?
                family
                living situation  - has to change
Insurance - glad I have it but tired of talking about it.


So much to talk about I think I'm just going to type and see what comes out.

My Uncle died last week.

He was a great man and he touched a lot of people. That was oh so evident by the outpouring of support for our family and more specifically his wife. My mom and I flew up and were planning on getting in quick and getting out quick. You know, stay above the craziness that comes when you get together with family who you only see at these awful occasions.  You know nothing went according to plan on that one right?!  Mom and I had all kinds of fun getting back from Chicago... #airportsleepover.

I played in my first softball game since wrist surgery. Felt okay but not great. Still going to play though. Wondering if it was painful due to the therapy on Tuesday...bad choice on my part. My team is a group of peeps from work and it's a lot of fun. Going to continue to be a good one I can tell. If i can keep my wrist in check, this could be good fun and some occasional exercise. I'm waiting on kickball. Never playing in a league before but I think I should be good at it.  i play/played soccer for goodnes sake!  We'll have to see when all of that goes down.

What's next on my outline of thoughts? Lol.

Oh yeah... playing sports. I think I would like to stop playing soccer. That time of my life has passed I think andI would just like to work out and take up a new hobby. I will always be passionate about watching and even playing it.  I think I'm well beyond wanting to play, I will miss it but I think I should be fine. New things are on the horizon... all across the board.


Speaking of new... the next stop on the mental anguish circuit.
Men - still seems to get my heart in crazy situations.  Knight in shining armor...not looking for him... normal guy with a heart, a good job, and good communication skills...DEFINITELY looking for him.
Moved on officially from someone or something that was not a healthy situation. Feels good to be free of that emotional baggage...at least I think  I'm free of it.  It's amazing how i can get my heart tangled up so badly in such a short time.  Hmph.... working on not worrying about all of this. Hate to be part of a cliche but dang it i'm not getting any younger!

I love my family and hope to have one of my own someday but i also need a bit more space. I enjoyed my time away on the ship and the independence that i had.   Hope to move into my own space by the end of this year. Am I behind the 8 ball, yes. I think I have allowed many. many things to get in my way  and I'm done with that now. Working on my loans and any outstanding credit that I have to get that credit score up and get a move on! Yeah buddy! I don't need a lot... a small space to call my own and relax.  Could be lookin' up.

I've re-lived the wreck again for the insurance companies and now I'm trying to put it behind me.

Well, that's enough of my spiel and I'm out!

#dosomethinggood

-ash

And so it goes....

March 2, 2013...

Hotel 3 in 4 days.  Business trip 3 in 4 weeks. A lot of traveling for me this February. It's been an eventful few work days and a relaxing vacation day thus far. I started out my work trip at the Hilton Garden Inn Houston Northwest and I was lucky enough to stay at La Toretta Resort & Spa last night and was also fortunate enough to see an old friend Jason for some dinner and chatting. We went to a place called COTTONWOOD. If you live in Houston, go check it out ( 610 and N. Shepherd). It waspacked when I got there and sits a  right off of some live train tracks... food was good, the company was good and the ambiance was pretty good too. My vodka /cran was a bit high for my liking $10 but it was a good stiff drink.  Man was that drink needed after my horrowing drive down from Conroe.
Everyone knows that I've been a bit jumpy behind the wheel these days since the accident in October. I'm working on it but I flinch at the smallest things now and I hate being near the wall. It hurts me to say that driving is not as fun as it used ot be. I was the carefree person who would jump in the car to clear my head. Now unless I'm on the open road and there is no traffic, I'd really rather skip it.  I'm going to go talk to someone ( a professional) about my issues with driving/riding now. I want to be able to enjoy a car ride again and not cringe when my mom gets the keys to drive. If i could just get the visual of the wreck out of my mind I would be in a great place. Every time I am in the car, I see us about to hit the back of that expedition and see us still going after hitting and being hit I think of what could have been if we had flipped or if we were 100 yards furrther or even a bit farther than that with the wire medians. I know I should let it go and believe me I have tried. I just can't seem to kick the visual and the event.  It has truly affected me and what I want to do. I truly go after the things that I want and try extremely hard not to let a moment go by that I don't take it in and realize each moment is not promised.  "Live the life you imagined."

I went to the rodeo today... lots of cowboy hats and boots! Quite the experience and a good time for sure.
 Now I'm in the Marriott Medical Center and I'm watching the game I was going to attend on tv. Thinking about going to work out, may go for a swim. Who know, may just call room service and enjoy solitude and rest. 

Can you believe it's been 1 year since I joined ATI (Feb 28, 2012)?  I can't either. It's been quite a ride thus far. Great friendships made and great time had. Here's to at least another year of adventure! (we go year by year people...don't judge and if you do... don't do it outwardly)

And now to move on to my single girls rant...

Still looking for Mr. Right... he is not here as far as I can tell. Sometimes I feel like I must be asking for a nobel peace prize winner or something. I don't need the knight in shining armor or the rich man. I need someone who can/will take care of me in times of need and cheer me up when I am sad.. Someone who understands that I am a strong woman who is extremely opinionated and knows when to put me in my place. I need a friend, a partner...someone who will make me laugh and will travel the world with me. I'm looking for someone who is not afraid to love me for me. The crazy, emotional and family oriented person that I am.   Love me or let me go mister... let me be with someone who wants to be with me. I deserve it and I want it sooner rather than later. God has a plan and I am working on my patience, but I do believe he has a plan.

Love and blessings to all.

-Ash

SMU Black Alumni

I'm excited to have this event. We've been planning for what seems like forever to get this event going. I'm quoted in this article which is pretty cool when I think about it. Check it out and come on out to the event on Saturday if you feel the need to support!


SMU Black Alumni gather to honor history makers - News - Daily Campus - Southern Methodist University

It's been a good January.

January shmanuary!

“I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.” 
― Tina Fey, Bossypants


SOOOOOO... THE START OF THE YEAR HAS BEEN A SPECIAL ONE!!
I have made a pact with myself to get healthier. I'm not calling it a new year's resolution because I am NOT going to stop walking or running on the path that I have chosen for this year.  In the 30 days so far in this month I have worked out i think 20 of those.  I have been challenged by a person I know at my Y who seems to think that I am not committed to working hard and that i don't realize the potential I have. I beg to differ. I am committed and I want to be challenged. I want to be better all around, look better, feel better, the whole 9 yards. I think if anything, I'm scared that I am going to want so much out of this change and my body will not be able to handle the constant pressure. All of those surgeries feel like they have taken a toll on me and my ability to work hard and play hard. I can't seem to lost this freakin' weight no matter what I do.  I need someone to push me and keep me focused on what my end goal is. I would like to get back to that 165/170 LB. marker that I used to be at. I want to try yoga, I want to try kick boxing... I want to try a lot but haven't found the time or maybe I haven't made the time to work these things into my day to day schedule. I've started doing a daily challenge and it really has been great. It has made me think about what I am doing to continue on my journey and make it worth while.

Now more than ever do I realize that I will never be content with a sedentary life, that I will always be haunted by thoughts of a sun-drenched elsewhere.” 
― Isabelle Eberhardt

In January I have been a number of places. I started the year off in Miami (Hollywood Beach to be precise) then I ended up in Indianapolis.  It seems like i have been many more places but it reality only these 2. Miami was beautiful and the weather was amazing... too bad I didn't have a week to just sit, that would have been so so lovely. In Indianapolis the weather was cold and not as fun as Miami but it was  a good time nonetheless. I was able to catch up with a bunch of Region III/ NTX people and it was a small bit of fun.  Gotta love the peeps from that time in my life. I miss it, but things are good where I am and with the groups that I work with now.

What's the saying? The grass is always greener on the other side....

I think my grass is pretty green on the professional side. I'd like to see what the grass looks like on the personal side of the hill.

Happiness with me equals happiness for me.

Have a great night!

- ash

Awwww yeah ... it's Saturday ya'll!! What does that mean you might ask!?

NOTHING!

Man I woke up early and am now trolling the internet for things to do. I should be cleaning my house and then ultimately getting ready for my work party, but all I really want to do is read my book and take the longest bath known to man!

luck be a lady tonight

Man oh man has it been a crazy month of November ... and beginning of December.

Work has been CRAZY to the CRAZY!  I've been in Charleston, SC; Anaheim, Ca; and now I am in  Birmingham, Al.

Work is good... lucky to have a job.

@Texash81

So, my mom just really joined Twitter for the first time, SHow her some love people, follow her on Twitter @McHam1946!  This is so much fun.
I just got back from the NSCAA convention where we made good progress on work and for sure had a fun time when not at work!  I got to catch up with a ton of people from my soccer past while there and was able to laugh a lot this past weekend.
Had the first official Black Daisy soccer practice today at Inwood and I think I did well considering. I know I have a long, long, long way to go! I'm getting stronger and i am SERIOUSLY committed to being stronger and more fit.

Here is my goal...

Workout each day.
Watch what i eat.
           Portions and content.
Smile more.
Stress out less.
Eat breakfast every day.
Love me some me!

Live the life I've imagined.


Follow me on Twitter @Texash81