Random thoughts....

It's been a long couple of weeks.

Death in the family.
Airport Sleepover.
Softball Game.
Realizations - on oh so many things.
              sports and playing
               men ... where the hell are they?
                family
                living situation  - has to change
Insurance - glad I have it but tired of talking about it.


So much to talk about I think I'm just going to type and see what comes out.

My Uncle died last week.

He was a great man and he touched a lot of people. That was oh so evident by the outpouring of support for our family and more specifically his wife. My mom and I flew up and were planning on getting in quick and getting out quick. You know, stay above the craziness that comes when you get together with family who you only see at these awful occasions.  You know nothing went according to plan on that one right?!  Mom and I had all kinds of fun getting back from Chicago... #airportsleepover.

I played in my first softball game since wrist surgery. Felt okay but not great. Still going to play though. Wondering if it was painful due to the therapy on Tuesday...bad choice on my part. My team is a group of peeps from work and it's a lot of fun. Going to continue to be a good one I can tell. If i can keep my wrist in check, this could be good fun and some occasional exercise. I'm waiting on kickball. Never playing in a league before but I think I should be good at it.  i play/played soccer for goodnes sake!  We'll have to see when all of that goes down.

What's next on my outline of thoughts? Lol.

Oh yeah... playing sports. I think I would like to stop playing soccer. That time of my life has passed I think andI would just like to work out and take up a new hobby. I will always be passionate about watching and even playing it.  I think I'm well beyond wanting to play, I will miss it but I think I should be fine. New things are on the horizon... all across the board.


Speaking of new... the next stop on the mental anguish circuit.
Men - still seems to get my heart in crazy situations.  Knight in shining armor...not looking for him... normal guy with a heart, a good job, and good communication skills...DEFINITELY looking for him.
Moved on officially from someone or something that was not a healthy situation. Feels good to be free of that emotional baggage...at least I think  I'm free of it.  It's amazing how i can get my heart tangled up so badly in such a short time.  Hmph.... working on not worrying about all of this. Hate to be part of a cliche but dang it i'm not getting any younger!

I love my family and hope to have one of my own someday but i also need a bit more space. I enjoyed my time away on the ship and the independence that i had.   Hope to move into my own space by the end of this year. Am I behind the 8 ball, yes. I think I have allowed many. many things to get in my way  and I'm done with that now. Working on my loans and any outstanding credit that I have to get that credit score up and get a move on! Yeah buddy! I don't need a lot... a small space to call my own and relax.  Could be lookin' up.

I've re-lived the wreck again for the insurance companies and now I'm trying to put it behind me.

Well, that's enough of my spiel and I'm out!

#dosomethinggood

-ash

And so it goes....

March 2, 2013...

Hotel 3 in 4 days.  Business trip 3 in 4 weeks. A lot of traveling for me this February. It's been an eventful few work days and a relaxing vacation day thus far. I started out my work trip at the Hilton Garden Inn Houston Northwest and I was lucky enough to stay at La Toretta Resort & Spa last night and was also fortunate enough to see an old friend Jason for some dinner and chatting. We went to a place called COTTONWOOD. If you live in Houston, go check it out ( 610 and N. Shepherd). It waspacked when I got there and sits a  right off of some live train tracks... food was good, the company was good and the ambiance was pretty good too. My vodka /cran was a bit high for my liking $10 but it was a good stiff drink.  Man was that drink needed after my horrowing drive down from Conroe.
Everyone knows that I've been a bit jumpy behind the wheel these days since the accident in October. I'm working on it but I flinch at the smallest things now and I hate being near the wall. It hurts me to say that driving is not as fun as it used ot be. I was the carefree person who would jump in the car to clear my head. Now unless I'm on the open road and there is no traffic, I'd really rather skip it.  I'm going to go talk to someone ( a professional) about my issues with driving/riding now. I want to be able to enjoy a car ride again and not cringe when my mom gets the keys to drive. If i could just get the visual of the wreck out of my mind I would be in a great place. Every time I am in the car, I see us about to hit the back of that expedition and see us still going after hitting and being hit I think of what could have been if we had flipped or if we were 100 yards furrther or even a bit farther than that with the wire medians. I know I should let it go and believe me I have tried. I just can't seem to kick the visual and the event.  It has truly affected me and what I want to do. I truly go after the things that I want and try extremely hard not to let a moment go by that I don't take it in and realize each moment is not promised.  "Live the life you imagined."

I went to the rodeo today... lots of cowboy hats and boots! Quite the experience and a good time for sure.
 Now I'm in the Marriott Medical Center and I'm watching the game I was going to attend on tv. Thinking about going to work out, may go for a swim. Who know, may just call room service and enjoy solitude and rest. 

Can you believe it's been 1 year since I joined ATI (Feb 28, 2012)?  I can't either. It's been quite a ride thus far. Great friendships made and great time had. Here's to at least another year of adventure! (we go year by year people...don't judge and if you do... don't do it outwardly)

And now to move on to my single girls rant...

Still looking for Mr. Right... he is not here as far as I can tell. Sometimes I feel like I must be asking for a nobel peace prize winner or something. I don't need the knight in shining armor or the rich man. I need someone who can/will take care of me in times of need and cheer me up when I am sad.. Someone who understands that I am a strong woman who is extremely opinionated and knows when to put me in my place. I need a friend, a partner...someone who will make me laugh and will travel the world with me. I'm looking for someone who is not afraid to love me for me. The crazy, emotional and family oriented person that I am.   Love me or let me go mister... let me be with someone who wants to be with me. I deserve it and I want it sooner rather than later. God has a plan and I am working on my patience, but I do believe he has a plan.

Love and blessings to all.

-Ash