FRAGILE: handle with care

Okay so let's talk about a few things. First off, I hope everyone is having a very HAPPY new year. I am doing my best to be happy but am finding it difficult with some of the obstacles that are before me at this point. I am also a professional self sabateur (sp?). If anything gets too good I tend to over think it and end up ruining it. This is my biggest downfall in my relationships that I build with people. I have an abondonment thing I think. Having experienced a lot of loss in my early life, the affects have carried over into my adult life and are continuing to have a profound affect on my LIFE, LOVE & the pursuit of HAPPINESS.

I posted a quote today on my facebook which is very indicative of what is going on in my world.


"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough. "
Frank Crane

I think I am going to take a facebook time out. It is the place where recently I have gotten into my own head too well or sabotaged some great things. Maybe I should give it up for a month or something OR until I find a job. That would be a good thing maybe. More to come later I'm sure. 

I am all over the place tonight. The brain waves that wrote the previous paragraphs are not fried and frustrated. I'm not sure what to think and what to feel. I was told by a great friend to "Find what makes me happy." I am honestly not sure what that is anymore. I may have to try really hard to figure out what I am happiest doing. I know I enjoy:

sports

kids

travel

laughter

reading

singing

movies

I could go on for days. I have to re-examine. Notice I did not use analyze but I think in a way more self-analysis is the way to go just in the happiness spectrum.