FRIENDS OR NOT?!

Had to make the crappy CHOICE to miss a dear friends wedding... had to go make some $$$ but it made me think again about my lovely life and the choices that one has to make along the way.

I am in Boca Raton, FL... i know be jealous, the weather has been pretty great... i'm with new soccer family doing one of hte thins i love most in this world... watching soccer. I am however a little saddened that I am not going to be celebrating the holiday with my family... I had to make a choice.  This time $$$$ won out over family and friends. I had a moment where I felt as though I was being selfish for choosing to make some money over choosing to be with my family. THEN, I realized that my family loves me no matter what I am doing or where I am. That leads me to look at those that I surround myself with, those that I call my FAMILY. 

You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.

That's what the old saying says.  I have some people,(one person)  that I keep trying to call my friend who keep showing me that they are not only not a friend but not interested in being my friend. Why do I continue to try to be in contact? Is it me being an idiot b/c I am friends with all of those people who are or were a part of my life in that way? I don't get it but at least I am over it and that person. I have reached out the olive branch AGAIN to this person ... think (actually I KNOW) I will be okay either way. I have a new person who more than fills the void left my my absentee FRIEND. It's important to surround yourself with people that treat you with respect, communicate with you, and overall LOVE/LIKE you as a person People who want the best for you. People who make you a better version of you. The song quote below sums up how a friend should make you feel as well.

"Even if we never talk again after tonight, please remember that I am forever changed by who you are and what you meant to me"
-Chasing Amy

At least for me an actual friend ALWAYS impacts your life whether for the good or bad... they always leave a mark and you cannot change that.

Sometimes it's weird I think... I'm 30 I should be grown up and have no problems... you think all sorts of crazy things like that when you are younger. Now I'm thinking I hope I can control all of these interesting things that life is throwing at me and do it with some sort of grace and class. Do it in a way that makes me feel great first off and in the best way possible for the best possible outcome. For the record, I realize that 30 is not the end of lifes growing pains. I'm growing (hopefully just spiritually and mentally, not physically) each day and look forward to what life has in store for me. If you know of a job that migt have in store for me, let me know. Going a bit crazy without something to do daily.

Anywho...it's 5am and I'm up for no reason but to write this I guess. I'm goin to try to get back to sleep before my 8:30 am breakfast call. 

I leave you with another quote on choices as I always do...

“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.”

Robert F. Bennett