So, since I've been home mom and I have been a part of a number of great,great philanthropic opportunities.

Susan G. Komen, Light the Night and the Aids Life Walk.

Mom and I at Life Walk

The AIDS LIFE WALK... is becoming a tradition for us. The GAP walks in it every year as do a great number of big businesses in the metroplex. They have teams walking in honor of lost loved ones and friends and they have people who are affected with the disease. It'a great cause that I hope to be able to continue to support. Next year I hope to getting things ready for my non-profit and will have a team representing THE PEACOCK PROJECT.

Kate and I at the Light the Night Walk

 LIGHT THE NIGHT raises money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society to help rid the world of blood cancers. I also work with Team In Training to raise money for this great cause.  Keep on keepin on with the fight!

Mom didn't take any Susan B.Komen Race for the Cure pics, but she had a great time walking with her friend Johanna and her other friend Cookie. They have been affected by Breast Cancer and were really acited to see my mom out walking with them. 

Anywho...life is good and each of these events helps to remind you that no matter what I am going through there are still people out there going through something that could be much much worse that my predicament.

M.I.A.

This is part of a poem I just wrote... not my best work but it just needed to come out:

Missing In Action...

I feel as though I'm missing in action these days. I am home, yes that is true, but my mind finds itself wandering and ...thinking about you.
My sunshine and my laughter are all wrapped in your face ... all those years of pain and hurt your smile can erase.
I've been so guarded and to my heart so untrue, i have the thoughts in my head to not get tangled up or in nay way fall for you.
I am trying to think with my heart and not with my head ... again looking back at what I've seen ,my love life has been dead.
I'm missing in action, going through the motions as such... how was I to know that I had missed you so much.


(to be continued) typing as my heart shared it with me.  A little too sweet for my taste but it was in there so I let it out.

I am so tired but cannot get to sleep for the life of me. I took a nap earlier today which could not be avoided... I was EXHAUSTED and had to remedy that situation ASAP. I have read my friend Cat's blogs and again gain clarity every day and am lucky to have what I have and to not be missing the :love of my life". How can a God be so cruel to give her the man of her dreams/ love of her life and then take him away so soon? I often think about my mortality which I'm sure freaks people out... i think it comes from my experiencing profound loss in my life. Big family, lots of health scares and such. Yet still the family is not as close as they once were nor are they as close as they should be. My family is all about the people trying to be better than the other parts of the family. We are all guilty of it but it's a bit ridiculous at this point. I have counsins that I have not seen in AGES and if I was to walk past one on the street, I would do just that, walk past them on the street. They probably wouldn't recognize me. I am missing Joan, missing my dad and missing a life partner. I think of all the things I want to share with those people... my ups and my downs, my highs and my lows... I just want the opportunity to share my life with them and not feel like both and they have missed out. My dentist asked my abot Joan on Tuesday during my appointment and I started to cry ... mom and I were talking about dad the other day and what happened? I cried. I'm waaaaay more of a crier than I ever thought. Life is good though, I'm really learning to stop and enjoy the view more instead of always trying to figure out where I am going.

Love ya = Ashley

thoughts on a ashley day

Way to go Rangers!!! We'll start out with the awesomeness that is my Texas Rangers. Josh Hamilton and Cliff Lee... heroes of the evening!! Can't believe I've been home for 2 weeks. In a way it seems like I've been home for at least a month but it also seems like I just got here last week (mid-week).  It's good to be at home... I've been able to get to the doctor... a real one... and get my foot checked out and go to my primary care to get the cold checked out. Dr. Bescos is a goddess... I always feel better once I've seen her. If she wasn't so good I would've found another doctor based on the front office support that she has. They suck for lack of a better word.

In the past week, my mom has walked in the Walk For Life (AIDS Walk) and then walked in the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Walk. She is amazing and I am so proud of her and can't tell her more everyday how happy and proud that I am her daughter! She's a bit craxzy at times, but each day I realize how important she is to me and how she has helped me become the woman that I am today.
MOM YOU ROCK!
Hmmm... we are now looking at getting her ready to go on a cruise when i get back on ship. Not sure what cruise at this point since I am transferring, but a cruise nonetheless. I am trying to have a better outlook than I had initially about transferring ships... a new itinerary (may not be the one I was hoping for, but a new one nonetheless). Eastern and Western Caribbean here I come!! I looked at the ports of call and am excited to see this area of the world. It's going to be different but fun! I am going to make a promise to myself to EXPERIENCE all that I can of hte islands that we visit. I have a lot of time to get some of those expereinces in and need to make sure that I do not forget about the fun in what I do.

Anywho, ciao for now... talk to you soon friends.

I miss my Joan

I've come back now and have gotten settled back here at home.  I've learned quite a  few things about myself throughout this process.

1. I LOVE Dallas.
2. I miss my JOAN ... I miss my FAMILY (both soccer and biological).

I sit and think about the amazing life expereinces that I have had in my 28 years and am grateful.  I am grateful to my family, grateful to my friends and am grateful to anyone who has touched my life. Looking back on the friends that have been made, I cannot be sad about the losses that I have had, I can only take those losses and think of the greatness of my experiences with those people who have touched my life.

IT MAKES YOU THINK...

HOME. HOME. HOME.
It's been 7 days since I got home and wow I'm waaaaaaaay more tired that I thought I'd be. I fall asleep at the most random times.

I've got a bit of a cold which everyone seems to think is somewhat normal but I think it sucks.  I've been reading an awful  lot lately, and have taken to reading my friend Cat Goddard's blog. She is going through a very public battle with her husband right now. He is battling cancer and is in the fight for his life. She has been chronicling the day to day of it all. Her struggles make you look at your life and truly realize that you need to enjoy it for what it is ...be greatful for everything that you have and every day that you have.  Take some time to smell the roses and enjoy each day.

go check out her blog and then wipe your tears away and hug those that you love...

http://johnandcatgoddard.blogspot.com/

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE.

Ok so I've been home for 7 days... it's been interesting.

I miss the ship, gald to be at home though and I've brought my little chest cold with me!

Home Sweet Home

I think I've accumulated all the days off I never got when I was at sea. 2 months off. What to do for two months... sleep, hang with the family and of course travel and watch some soccer. I will be putting this blog to rest at this point but may kick it back up when I get back on ship. Things are good though, glad to be at home and a bit sad about my next contract... don't want to leave my wonder friends. We'll see how that goes as well.

Just keep swimming!
Ashley

And now the time is near...

And now the time Is near…


I can’t believe it … 1 full day left. I am a ball of mixed emotions right now. I am EXCITED to see my family, SAD to leave, CURIOUS as to what comes next for me. They just told me today that I am not going to Mexico with the Wonder. I will be transferring to the Magic to do the Eastern/Western Caribbean Cruises. My contract was extended and I’m not so sure how I feel about that. I have asked to be back on the Wonder for Alaska, but there are no guarantees. It would be nice to go to the Med and Europe as well so who knows what my future holds. I have to get through tomorrow and the next day and the next day….

I have been packed for over a week now but am still trying to fit all the last minute things in my suitcase. I don’t see it happening without some things being thrown away or left behind. I know OHANA means family and no one gets left behind but I may just have to do that.

I had my review today… great feedback… some expected feedback regarding some challenges with time management… I’m okay with that… now that I have been here and know what to expect, I’m good to go for the future I hope. I cried in my review… so many emotions going through my head and I’m tired to boot. It doesn’t take much. If you know me, you know I will cry at the drop of a hat. Anywho, this has been a great experience and I know I have met some amazing people that I will hopefully be in contact with for the rest of my life.

Speaking of my life... I don’t even know what to expect from life back home. Will I be bored or what? I’m not sure what happened with my registration for my classes since I can’t really jump on the internet. I refuse to pay $20 for an internet card that I will only use for 5 minutes before I debark. Oh well, I’ll find out when I get home or to a wireless WIFI location (aka THE AIRPORT). Tomorrow night I am going to go out and party like it’s 1999… lol. Thank you for following me on this journey and stay tuned for more when I head to the Magic. .. although I still have tomorrow and my fabulous debark day OCTOBER 3rd.



Next contract dates: Embark Disney Wonder: November 28, 2010

Transfer to Disney Magic: January 6,2011

Debark Disney Magic: April 10, 2011



You should look at your calendar and come cruisin’ … you’ll have a great time I promise!