If I could jump off and swim away I might just do it.

8/25/10

It’s been a crazy few days. I honestly was second guessing myself today thinking of all the craziness that has gone in this cruise. I know I am good at what I do but the numbers for my team don’t show it. I need my team to cheer up and express their happiness AND I need them to follow all DCL policies and procedures. It’s hard here to release the tension… I can’t get in my car and drive or go out and kick a ball. I’m at a point right now where I am just tired. I’m emotional and tired. I will get better, but I think when I come back for my second contract… I am going to HAVE to make sure I schedule time to go work out, time to wash my clothes and time for me in general. I’m not sure that there is enough time for that but I’m going to make it happen. I have to or I will not be good at my job. I love my MYA, I enjoyed the previous MYA and learned a lot but have found a bond with the current MYA. I was slightly stressed out and felt a bit micro-managed before but now I am able to lead the team that has been put before me.

When I come out on sea day and get to look out at the amazing expanse of the ocean it’s unbelievable that this is part of my job. I woke up this morning and decided to wash away all that craziness from the night before and start anew today. We have had some craziness again today but I am trying to remember that if I have a good outlook, it will help determine the outcome of what I am doing. This is an amazing opportunity and I’m fully ready to take full advantage of it. I am meeting amazing people and have learned some dutch. I’m not a partier but I am going to get back to having some fun away from work. You know me, the workaholic who keeps putting work and everything else in front of myself. I'M BREAKING OUT OF THAT. I will stay and make sure I am doing what I need to so that I may continue to grow with the company.

Remember: Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

Ashley