Today is the funeral and I am dreading all that it brings... I am supposed to speak but am not sure how that will go. As happy as I have been this is such a dark storm cloud in the middle of my ocean of happiness. I can't believe that she's gone and would love to have her back to talk to, argue with, laugh with and just spend time with. After today we are supposed to go out to her favorite restaurant and celebrate her life more... seems so hard if you ask me.
As for cruisin' I'm back on board on Friday... DCL has given me the time off that I needed but she would be so pissed off at me if I stayed off the ship longer than this one contract. She would be mad anyway that I came but happy at the same time.
I remember watching Cowboys games with her, swimming, going to doctors appointments, visiting the hospital, her coming to all the graduations and looking forward to my wedding ... we used to talk about it often. I'm going to miss her sooooo much it hurts.
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